Tw/cw: The following poems touch on topics such as anxiety, depression, and dysphoria. If these topics are triggering to you, please proceed with caution. The second poem has some cursing. The third poem has none of these themes, though it does talk a bit about self-hatred. Pinocchio Washing hands in the dark instead of seeing myself in the mirror sweeping anxiety averted looking at reflection feels unnatural body has two lumps of shouldn’t be there weighing down my heart shoulders slump in sagging baggy clothes cover unnatural figure and to add on even without these parasites melded onto me I still hate these short legs small but not skinny enough round cheeks weak ankles dark shadows under eyes imperfect thighs feel like screaming sometimes instead I take a math test and rip at my skin leaving behind a long thin line that won’t disappear for three days anxiety gets its way I tell myself “it won’t happen again” then drown in the thought of it might Next day long day wrong day someday soul feel light put on “I’m a real boy now” sit tight feel alright 8 hours pass back to a puppet can’t focus on any tests formulas theories Thoreau engineering assignments clambering for attention scholarships deadlines daunting applications drown it all out turn off the lights sleep tight anxiety can’t catch me if I’m unconscious heartbeat hammer rhythm in chest i sing along—at least I don’t completely hate my voice then deep breaths breathing in the long suffocating seconds till release hits and I find a sort of comfort in breathing-- eyes closed I disappear darkness is a true friend Third Attempt I always thought I was like you but I’m a tongue tied anomaly slowly sinking into the wrong reality. It doesn’t matter how much I twist I’ll never actually change always the same little girl F*** I almost feel at home with that word Girl is a weighted blanket I can curl up in and hide my crying face with But I’m not girl and girl isn’t green. Girl is in the sun, playing with fire. I’m on the dark side of the moon barely breathing. reality doesn’t have enough gravity to hold me down so I feel nothing, stuck halfway between everything and space I wonder when the first person will commit suicide in this overwhelming expanse I feel as though I stopped aging at 8th grade everything past that a fever dream and I-- a fly on the wall If my mind is a fridge then I’ve got all the wrong magnets Love Song to Anybody But Myself Why do I keep coming back to South? Back to far away out of reach can’t touch the wrong side of the map because I’m North and nothing’s wrong with me why can’t I see that why can’t I see that why can’t I see that If I can’t see that I’ll never see me, the faux glasses I use to look at myself are the same you wear in the looking glass, Oh honey let me slip them off your face and caress your cheek, you’re more than you think You’re flowers and smiles and Oh you’re that moment I realize it’s really fall and you’re the moment I smell spring in the air and the moment I first see snow Oh you’re that feeling I get butterflies in my stomach You’re everything I wish I was when I look at polished silver sweetest color in the world is your favorite color You scare me sometimes, how I wish I could snap my fingers and make it alright. I look at a puddle and I see mud. You see me. Oh dear love song to anybody but myself I am dirt mixed with water. The sort of thing people see on their clothes and wash off. Oh dear wash me off but I know you won’t because you’re always there. Oh smile I don’t care love song to anybody but myself Why do I do this to mud? Set me on fire so I can have a hardy exterior. Set me on fire so I’ll shatter when I fall instead of splattering small ball of clay Oh dear make the guilt go away how dare I look in the mirror But there’s nothing wrong with me nothing wrong with me nothing wrong with me nothing wrong with me Oh dear I hope you never see this poem to anybody but myself - Anonymous If you want to write for the Crescent Crier, we would love to see you at one of our virtual meetings, which are every Wednesday at 1:30pm. To come to a meeting, fill out this form: https://forms.gle/TrQ5PqFcDqeE2yiB9, and we’ll send you a link ASAP. If you would like to submit a single article - or anything else like creative writing, an opinion, an art piece, photo or photo series, or something else entirely - then you can do that using this form: https://forms.gle/WAHSoWJuVwK3q5du6. If you want to contact us for any reason, you can email
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